well..

todae very tired lorhx..

haix..

morning haf mass run lorhx..

but nv run last larhx..

stamina becum lousy le lorhx..

sobx ='(..

maybe swimming can train up stamina..

going to try..

hahax..

but dunno y now no time to swim le..

everydae so late den cum home..

nt play but work lorhx..

ytd haf footdrill..

quite fun de larhx..

but a little tough lorhx..

senior sho strict worhx..

no offence arhx..

hahax..

but rachael was quite lenient liaox lorhx..

caring also..

hahax..

den was dismiss at abt 5 ++..

nt sure lorhx..

den go home very tired..

but cnt sleep lorhx..

den..

todae end up very tired..

sleep in history class..

sho boring lorhx..

den todae first lesson of D&T ehx..

quite fun larhx..

time pass very fast..

the D&T teacher bery funny..

hahax..

better den home econ teacher lorhx..

haf hw todae..

hmm..

dunno wat to post le anywaes..

but was very happy ytd..

hehex..

cox me & him finally talk after he avoid me lorhx..

den ytd..

me, yong ren, sook yee, wee tiong & him..

walk together go MRT station lorhx..

very fun lorhx..

hahax..

den he was like beating wee tiong with his uniform..

dunno y..

den on MRT i den know..

kor tell me cox he pinch my cheeks marhx..

den he saw..

den he go beat lorhx..

weird ritex..

well..

dunno wat to post le anywaes..

will be habing SCOUTS tml againx..

waaaaaaa..

hope can end earlier =)..

gtg le..

buaix~

hmm..

backx to post le lorhx..

well..

i m still sad of cox..

haix..

n..

he jux now call me lorhx..

chat ferr abt half hour plus..

den hang off liaox..

he sae D&T will burn hand de..

den he sae..

i sure kenna burn de..

den he sae..

fan zheng dou bu guan wo de shi..

sobx lorhx ='(

i realli hurt lorhx..

haix..

anywaes..

i know dat i m no longer important to him anymore..

n..

before he hang off..

he sae he miss me..

haix..

i m sho confused le..

he sae i go out n play todae..

but i didn't..

i was doing my project..

he sae quality sure nt gd de..

i m HURT..

sobx..

in his eyes..

maybe i m a gal who likes to play and dun likes to study de bahx..

in fact..

i like to study..

english,maths,chinese,science..

in fact even geography..

D&T still dunno..

cox haben start yet..

but..

he like dat sae me..

haix..

better dun sae anything..

well..

he seems to be avoiding me in sch..

haix..

dat's y..

i jux dun feel like going to sch..

dunno y..

tml hab footdrill..

sianx lorhx..

haix..

a break up ruin our fwenship..

sobx lorhx ='(

well..

i dunno wat to sae le..

haix..

jux hope dat sch quickly end..

den faster december holidae..

gd den..

now dunno whether wan to transfer anot..

i think the onli wae is dat..

he tell me personally nt to transfer..

haix..

dunno larhx..

sobx lorhx..

well..

hope life can be better..

anywaes..

we haf a new timetable le..

but i dun like it..

later dismissal..

haix..

change co form teacher also le..

becum Ms Teng SM..

dun quite like her..

she also music teacher..

cox Mrs Soh becum part time teacher liaox..

teacher also haf part time de mehx?

den..

ms anita resign le marhx..

so ms chong cum n take over our class ferr english & literature lorhx..

sianx lorhx..

first lesson..

dunno if it's history or english..

she tell us wat 1985 wat go NIE..

den wat blah blah blah de..

boring lorhx..

ms kwok resign liaox..

so Ms Teng again..

becum our CEP teacher lorhx..

BORING!

now everyday haf english le..

cox of the timetable..

hmm..

it's getting late now..

gtg le...

buaix~

went to watch initial d todae..

with my meix..

actually is go with poh khee de..

den..

my mei wan tag along..

den pk dun wan go le lorhx..

we go JE library first..

den go help mummy deposit cheque lorhx..

went to maybank , HSBC & Standard Chartered..

sianx lorhx..

go till sianx liaox..

den.. go 7-11 lorhx..

den take MRT go bukit batok lorhx..

go cinema buy ticket ferr the 3 pm show first..

initial d worhx..

hahax..

den..

go walk walk lorhx..

i bought earrings & ear sticks..

den abt time le lorhx..

go in theatre liaox..

hahax..

the show very funny lorhx..

dunno y after seeing dat show..

i like jay le..

JAY rawks =)

hahax..

den the show end at abt 5?

den mummy cum..

mei sae hungry so mummy bring us go eat lorhx..

den dey eat lorhx..

i nv eat..

cox dun feel like eating..

den go SAN bookshop..

go rent books..

BEVERLY CLEARY..

hehex..

maybe going to buy dat book..

c first..

if nice den buy lorhx..

i wan JEAN URE..

but..

nv rent..

cox..

i wan to buy..

daddy sae can buy =)

den..

go buy sch shoes lorhx..

bata de..

den..

went watson's buy sun block..

den went home le lorhx..

JAY rawks =) rawks rawks rawks =)

hehex..

tml i think going out lorhx..

go buy swimming costume..

hahax..

sianx norhx..

daddy sho long nv go out wif us liaox..

hmppffss..

hahax..

i go read book liaox..

buaix~

jux cum backx from wild wild wet lorhx..

anywaes..

it was fun lorhx..

went with sis, bro & mum's auntie's fwens..

morning woke up at 8 lorhx..

mummy larhx..

go ka jiao me up..

shout at me&bro..

stupid de ehx..

den..

left home at 9 am lorhx..

set off to wild wild wet liaox..

very early ritex?

reach dere abt 10..

cox haf to go fetch my auntie&her fwen lorhx..

den bought entrance tickets lorhx..

total is $79.90..

quite cheap de larhx..

last time we went in $100++..

same person also..

maybe becox tube now free le marhx..

den..

we dunno dat senior citizen over 55 is free lorhx..

den my auntie above 55 liaox marhx..

sho we dunno den we go pay lorhx..

stupid ritex?

but..

gt refund larhx..

den..

we go put our things into lockers lorhx..

hire 4 lockers lorhx..

den change den take off slippers..

go to shiok river lorhx..

bery bery fun..

kekex..

but drank too much water =x..

cox the so called "waves"..

keep on pushing me away..

hahax..

den..

we went 2 rounds the shiok river..

den went to ular-lah..

very fun also..

but not as scary as last time larhx..

sat it once..

cox we go dere very early marhx..

so no pple lorhx..

den go to professor playground lorhx..

played all the slide..

quite fun larhx..

den went to tsunami lorhx..

but dun haf waves lehx..

so we go jacuzzi lorhx..

den..

gt waves le..

we all faster go dere lorhx..

very fun..

but gt 1 children drown..

den lifeguard go save him lorhx..

den we go eat lunch..

cox 12 smth liaox lorhx..

den went backx again lorhx..

go shiok river again..

dis time gt waves again..

very fun lorhx..

den we went erm..

tsunami againx..

haf wave..

go play lorhx..

den go jacuzzi..

den went back professor playground lorhx..

den me & my mei..

go play sky rider..

quite fun de lorhx..

but the person in front us cycle too slow liaox lorhx..

behind all wan knock us liaox..

cox mux keep 2 metres away marhx..

den no choice..

den we very angry lorhx..

at dere scold em'..

kekex..

den..

go haf another round of shiok river..

den go change liaox lorhx..

nv played waterworks & slide up..

cox no 1 pei wo go play waterworks..

den slide up..

last time i go play..

super scary nehx..

now dun dare play liaox =x..

hahax..

den left at abt 4?

hahax..

go my auntie's house bring em' home first..

den we go clementi eat lorhx..

kekex..

den reach home at abt 5 like dat..

nt sure larhx..

den..

i haf sun burn lorhx..

very very pain..

on my hand & face..

waaaaaaaaa..

sho pain lorhx..

my hand look funny..

part of it is red..

part of it is white..

wa hahahax..

but still pain larhx..

can feel hotness..

den..

1 thing gd abt wild wild wet lorhx..

all the lifeguard dere horx..

very chio & handsome ehx..

envy lorhx..

all tan tan de..

especially boys..

hahax..

hope can go backx next hol..

hahax..

holidaes ending liaox worhx..

mux study harder liaox..

but i haben finish hol's assignments..

die liaox..

hahax..

i m still missing him..

hope to c u soon..

muackx!

btw..

todae initial d opening liaox..

nv go watch..

maybe tml go watch liaox..

i WAN to watch..

parents i think allow larhx..

kekex..

buaix..

backx to post again..

nth to do marhx..

so cum here n blog lorhx..

life realli sux without him..

though he my 4th stead..

he has added colours to my life..

making my life more colourful..

now dat i n him break le..

my life becum dull..

grey in colour..

haix..

sobx sobx ='(

well..

hope dat i can get over it soon..

but i wun forget him de..

neither would i forget the times i haf with him..

first hug we haf: 10/4/05..

dun haf kiss b4..

will alwaes remember 10/4/05..

though he was the 1 who hug me..

i haben hug him b4..

the dae we stead: 27/3/05..

i will alwaes remember dis date..

foreva..

i wonder y..

how cum when i stead others..

i wun remember the dae we stead de..

but now..

i can remember..

i dunno y..

haix..

maybe is becox i love him too much le..

like wat i tell sook yee..

dun love some1 too much..

xi wang yue da..

shi wang yue da..

haix..

she managed to do it..

but..

i nv..

everytime i gif pple advice..

i nv manage to do it..

haix..

anywaes..

wo bu zai hu tian chang di jiu..

zhi zai hu ceng jing yong you..

our stead date, hug date, happy times together & him..

i will remember dem..

4eva..

as they haf been craved onto my heart..

nv eva be erased..

promise..

still gt wat to post de?

i realli miss euu alotx..

hope we can get backx together..

somedae..

hope euu wun forget me..

or the love ferr me..

but..

it depends on euu..

if u wan to forget me..

den..

i haf nth to sae le..

jux hope dat u can call me everydae..

but..

it wun be possible anymore..

i knew it..

nvm..

i wun mind..

jux hope dat my life would be colourful even without him..

gtg watch teevee le..

buaix..

waaaaaaaaa..

very very sianx nehx..

todae nv go take consent form from sook yee..

cox i think i better dun go to campfire..

hmm..

dunno y ehx..

jux dun feel like going..

n..

i also dunno can go anot..

take the consent form maybe also cnt go..

hw haf alot haben finish..

die le..

project also die liaox..

i wonder how i m going to face him when go back to sch..

how lehx?

avoid him?

i dunno ehx..

but..

i dun wish to avoid him..

jux haf a feeling lorhx..

nt sure larhx..

anywaes..

i jux cum backx from the old turf city..

at upper bukit timah dere..

very near to muii house..

went to eat lorhx..

eat quite alot of things..

very cheap somemore..

hahax..

tml going wild wild wet..

hope i can enjoy myself lorhx..

but i dun dare go play slide up le..

cox dat time i play..

screaming like hell..

face turn green..

hahax..

but..

u-la-la very very fun..

i love it alot =)

shiok river also..

n still gt sky rider lorhx..

very fun..

kekex..

hope i can enjoy myself n forget all unhapiness..

kor todae go wild wild wet nehx..

heng todae i nv go..

hahax..

LOL..

now realli sianx..

also dunno wat to post..

haix..

how i wish..

he could be beside me..

but..

i think cnt le..

jux now saw a couple kissing..

sho envy..

haix..

anywaes..

jux now chat wif angella , jingyi & june..

the conversation was fun..

kekex..

now realli sianx arhx..

looking forward to tml..

buaix..

love him lotx..

i m sad..

once again..

ever since i n him break le..

i nv ever smile once..

everytime c me happy happy..

all is fake de..

my heart is actually crying..

but..

dis kind of thing is all fate de..

god planned everything..

god doesn't wan me n him to be together..

let it be..

though i m sad abt it..

he should be happy bahx..

haix..

feel like crying again..

i haf change le..

i haf realli realli change alot le..

i dun haf mood swings de..

not even once..

but now..

alot of times..

i dunno y..

sometimes jux haf de..

haix..

='(=(..

no choice lorhx..

since we r not fated to be together..

let it be..

my heart is aching..

ferr him de:

dun break my heart once & again..

u promise not to break it..

but u still break it..

i m very very fragile..

very very..

u everydae c me happy..

is all fake de..

haix..

anywaes..

u wan to wait ferr me or dun wan to wait le..

i dun care le..

do wat u wan to do..

i wun care much le..

u choose to find another stead or wateva..

i also dun care le..

u do wateva things u like to do bahx..

dun need to care me le..

i know dat u haf nv eva like me b4..

i know dat..

dun need to deceive me..

i can c de..

u promise to wait ferr me..

is JUX A LIE!

PLS STOP LYING TO ME!

i m very fragile..

dun break my heart..

dun break it..

i jux recover..

n ferr now..

it will take ages to recover..

from the pain..

i dun mind if u lie to me..

i jux wanna know if u haf realli love me b4..

dun lie to me..

i wan truth..

if u be with me is jux ferr fun de..

den..

i haf nth to sae..

gif me ur reply..

either thru email or my tagbox..

i dunno y i m crying again..

when i typing the words ferr him..

i dunno y..

y m i alwaes crying?

when can i stop?

tears jux flow down..

n my heart is aching..

over & over..

i m sho sad..

i m deeply hurt..

hurt..

perhaps not by u..

i dunno..

ur father?

i dunno..

i m sorry to break the promise ferr not saying break..

but..

i m left wif no choice..

u can hate me.. beat me.. scold me.. do anything u wan..

i wun mind de..

as i haf break the promise..

i m a bad gal..

sobx sobx sobx ='(

dis fri campfire i think i nt going le..

i m not in the mood to go..

go also will end up crying when i c him..

i dunno how m i going to survive when sch re open..

it were be an awkward if we c each other..

ferr sure..

n he will avoid me..

like last time he did..

haix..

as i said..

do wateva u wan bahx..

i dun care u le..

haix..

buaix..

remember the reply..

haf fun at the BBQ jux now..

food was almost finish..

but i didn't eat any..

i m too sad to eat..

=(..

anywaes..

the BBQ started at 4.30..

den raining lorhx..

so sway de..

haix..

den start fire le..

den wait ferr awhile lorhx..

den suddenly alot of smoke..

den i breathe in too much le..

suffocate ferr awhile..

almost fainted..

phew..

haix..

den actually thinking of ending life de..

dun wan better..

haix..

den start BBQ lorhx..

mother's fwens & relatives..

haix..

den entertain dem lorhx..

den dunno y..

suddenly mood not gd..

feel very very sad..

den cum up house..

SMS kor lorhx..

n chat awhile..

den listen to BOA's waiting..

a romantic but sad song..

den went down again..

drank beer..

den continue to BBQ..

den i skip dinner lorhx..

nv eat anything..

no mood to eat..

haix..

now is 12.07 AM..

every1 should be sleeping le bahx..

of cox lorhx..

haix..

sho sad..

sch is re opening..

post another 1 later..

buaix..

hmm..

going to haf a BBQ later..

haben start yet..

still preparing..

help my maid jux now..

with the hot dog & chicken wings..

hahax..

quite fun de larhx..

LOL..

hope dat later can be fun lorhx..

hmm..

alot of pple cuming later..

hmm..

wonder if all the food can be finish..

hahax..

hope so lorhx..

anywaes..

todae morning haf a chat wif christine..

actually..

she quite gd de larhx..

hahax..

LOL..

wat she sae has realli make me erm..

how to sae nehx?

dunno larhx..

haf a gd chat jux now wif her..

den morning i go ka jiao my fwen..

gunbound de..

hahax..

wake him up lorhx..

i used to go ka jiao him de..

now we break le..

like erm..

nt in a position to ka jiao him up le..

maybe also will kenna scolding from him..

cox now i dun mean alot to him le..

haix..

dun wish to sae abt unhappiness thingy liaox..

anywaes..

hope dat he can stay happily after..

=)..

smile alwaes =)..

hahax..

he alwaes sae like dat to me de.. =)..

anywaes..

hope can haf fun later..

can any1 help me flood my tag box?

kekex..

buaix..

haix..

very boring lehx..

who can pei me chat?

sianx lorhx..

dis week will be a very busy week ferr me..

tml having BBQ at afternoon lorhx..

forget to ask fwens cum..

den can haf 6S gathering liaox..

den weds going to take consent form from sook yee..

ferr the campfire de..

dunno wan to go anotx..

den thurs mum sae go WWW..

wild wild wet lorhx..

finally..

last year go den sho fun..

den fri gt campfire at BBSS..

haix..

dunno wan go anot lehx..

den maybe celebrating hui wen's burfdae too..

still not confirm..

sat or sun going east coast..

cycling..

haix..

jux cum backx from grandma's house..

later haf to go to airport..

sianx nehx..

now nth to do lorhx..

so cum n post..

sch is re opening soon..

happy le =)..

but..

i haben do finish my hw =(..

left project , informal letter , chi compo & book review..

die liaox..

project how?

all need to hand up on mon except ferr the chi compo..

i dunno how to write..

sianx lorhx..

stupid theme dey gif..

anywaes..

post tml in the morning bahx..

den at nite ferr the BBQ lorhx..

hope tml can be fun bahx..

gtg liaox =)..

buaix..

haix..

i m beginning to hate myself le..

now deciding wan transfer sch anot..

haix..

I HATE MYSELF!

i dunno y..

after breaking up with him..

something is lost..

n..

i m beginning to hate myself..

I HATE MY ATTITUDE.. HATE EVERYTHING OF ME!

how i wish..

i can jump down now..

i m under too much stress..

the trip to malaysia..

i was sho sad ferr the whole dae..

i dunno y..

not becox of him..

i dunno..

haix..

when can i find dat part of me..

so dat i can return backx to my ownself againx..

i m beginning to change..

alot alot..

sobx sobx ='(

alot of pple seems to hate me..

haix..

i know my character sux..

but..

i've already tried my best to befren euu all..

n being friendly..

if u all think dat i failed..

nvm lorhx..

i know i m so shi bai de..

nth seems to cheer me up..

not even a thing..

my mood was like moody moody de..

moodswings bahx..

happens only ferr the past few weeks..

n i had a very very weird dream yesterdae..

haix haix..

I M SHO SAD..

i dunno y..

now also sick..

haix..

wo zuo ren jiu shi na me shi bai de..

shi bai shi bai lorhx..

i dun care le..

dun care if any1 take notice of me..

dun care anything le..

now often cry..

everynite..

every1 seems to think i m a cry baby bahx..

haix..

dun care le..

no mood to do anything now..

later changing blogskins..

sobx sobx sobx ='(

shi bai de wo..

saying buaix to the whole world..

i m finally backx from malaysia..

anywaes..

it wasn't fun as i had expected..

sobx sobx ='(

18/6/05

left home at abt 6 pm..

reach clementi at 6.15 pm..

took a maxi cab dere..

cost abt $22..

den..

waited till abt 6.30..

the bus came..

board the bus..

den on the way to woodlands checkpoint..

den custom check den blah blah blah..

anywaes..

i went kukup..

dunno wat's dat..

took abt 2 hrs to arrive dere from johor..

den reach dere..

no ELECTRICITY..

nth at all..

sobx sobx ='(

den as we live on the house at the sea..

we go fishing..

kekex..

caught 2 cat fish..

n 3 eels..

the eels look like snakes..

also caught some prawns..

sho boring anywaes..

den at abt 5..

electricity cum backx..

sho happy lorhx..

go backx room blow air con..

i ended up with stomach pain..

it was sho pain..

wan to die liaox..

den eat dinner..

half way..

black out again..

ahhhhhhhhh..

eat dinner without lights..

can't c anything..

den my mother's fwen & auntie crack jokes lorhx..

make us laugh..

den sho sianx..

go watch tv..

from my room onwards no electricity..

behind haf..

den go behind lorhx..

haix..

den at nite..

cox my room no light..

end up bang into walls & beds..

sho pain..

no choice den goother pple's room sleep..

hahax..

but the air con was too strong..

sho cold..

ended up flu..

now still having..

19/6/05

caught fish earli in the morning again..

morning i very weak..

feel very sick..

den blah blah blah..

soon it was time to go home..

walk all the way..

sho hot..

sux de..

den took bus..

go eat..

den sit bus go backx singapore lorhx..

den journey abt 2 hrs..

reach custom..

line at the all passports dere..

wa..

spent abt 1 hours waiting ferr my passport to be check..

n the officer ask me a question..

ng wan ning?

i said yes..

den he ask me..

y u look different from ur passport?

i said..

of cox..

it was taken when i was K2..

den he laugh lorhx..

say dat i change alot..

hmm..

i think i should go make new one liaox..

den as my mother dey all go line other side..

dey dunno where we go marhx..

end up dey at downstairs waited ferr us ferr abt half hours..

mum so worried le..

cox nv c us..

den she go find us..

with my auntie , sis & uncle..

go find..

after 15 mins..

cnt find..

den she go report police..

police go find find find..

also cnt find us..

we still lining up marhx..

how to find?

den when we cum down..

mum wan cry liaox..

heard from sis she going to cry liaox..

hmm..

den go home lorhx..

now sho tired..

missing him alot..

but he seldom cum MSN liaox..

nv call me..

nv SMS me..

nv help me tag also..

dunno wat happen..

sobx sobx ='(

i realli miss him..

haix..

nvm larhx..

since he promised to wait ferr me..

the promise has already break..

he has forgetten me le..

he dun like me le..

='(

haix..

dun care abt dis liaox..

going to save money..

buy alot of things..

now haf alot of things to buy..

kekex..

gtg sleep le..

buaix..

love u..

though u dun like me liaox..

i still love u..

miss u too..

buaix..

wa..

todae super sianx nehx..

no 1 pei me go out shopping..

sobx sobx ='(

jux now check the internet for the lip gloss & lipstick..

hahax..

ferr fun de larhx..

cox nth to do marhx..

go maybelline check..

saw a nice nice lip gloss..

cost $7.90..

maybe going to buy lorhx..

dunno..

den check out on aries also..

saw anklets..

nice lehx..

cheap also..

hahax..

going to buy i think..

kekex..

necklace i prefer yellow de..

gt 1 star de very nice..

$9.90..

maybe going to buy lorhx..

kekex..

haf alot of things to buy nehx..

zui jin becum ai mei liaox..

last time dun like now becum ai mei..

hahax..

dunno larhx..

sae maybe going buy onli..

kekex..

i also going to buy earrings..

cox i spoil 2 earrings yesterday..

1 from each pair..

sobx sobx ='(..

difficult to take out marhx..

den ask muii maid to take out lorhx..

den break..

haix..

now got alot of things wan to buy..

kekex..

haf a list liaox lorhx..

hahax..

dey all go PU liaox..

no 1 pei wo chat liaox..

tml going to malaysia le..

faster faster cum..

den can faster go malaysia..

dun need stay at home liaox..

but need to wake up very early..

5 am..

haix..

take bus to clementi den haf bus waiting ferr us..

kekex..

hope can be fun lorhx =)..

now playing neopets..

cox nth to do marhx..

hmm..

hope sch can re open soon..

but i haven do finish hw ehx..

hahax..

left project , maths , 1 letter , 4 book review & chi compo..

haix..

dunno can do finish anot ehx..

all except chi compo need to be handed up on mon..

die liaox lorhx..

1 more week to sch re open..

yipee..

den can go out liaox..

go sch study den after sch go JE library..

kekex..

alwaes hang out after sch de..

hahax..

hmm..

now nth to do..

haben pack finish my things..

hahax..

going to pack em' now..

buaix..

gd luck to miee ~~

kekex..

i m backx le worhx..

haf a fun dae at east coast..

well..

i managed to barbeque some chicken wings & satays & hotdogs all by myself..

kekex..

i m sho happy..

the food BBQ by me was so nice =x

bu yao lian ritex me?

kekex..

anywaes..

we went dere at abt 5 smth..

lost our way dere..

kekex..

past the chalet le but still drive straight..

till no way liaox..

went to the beach straight away..

saw alot of loving couples..

sho envy..

how i wish i could be with him againx..

but..

i think it's impossible..

the BBQ started at 6 smth..

den the wedding ceremony started at 7.30 sharp..

saw dem sign the paper?

hahax..

den haf tea ceremony..

the bride was beautiful..

kekex..

den actually wan rent bicycle n ride de..

but was getting late..

den dun wan le lorhx..

anywaes..

daddy promised to bring us back next week..

3 cheers ferr him =)

hmm..

my mother sponsered abt $2000 ferr the whole wedding..

hmm..

anywaes..

seldom c him online dis few daes le..

he also cnt chat on the fonee..

n he also nv call me nor SMS me..

sobx sobx ='(

can't talk to him le..

even if go sch will also pai seh go talk to him..

cox is i wan break de marhx..

no choice so mux lorhx..

hope we can patch up soon..

haix..

i realli miss him alotx lehx..

1st time i miss a pple alotx lehx..

sobx sobx ='(

wo zhen de hen xiang ni..

i realli loved him too..

but we jux can't be together..

sobx sobx ='(

anywaes..

would u mind me being ur guardian angel?

but i this guardian angel also mei you yong de..

alwaes sick de..

now also a little bit not feeling well le..

throat pain..

haix..

think he trying to avoid me liaox..

sobx..

throat sho pain..

it's 12.12 am n i m here blogging..

kekex..

gt smth ferr him..

pls dun avoid me.. i know i haf done wrong.. but pls dun avoid me.. if u realli wan to avoid.. den i think i dun haf any choice le lorhx..

jux wanna let euu know dat i realli LOVED euu.. when i m with euu.. i feel very happy.. realli very happy.. now we break le.. i cried ferr euu.. dis is the 1st time i've eva cried ferr a boi.. realli.. i can swear.. i also miss euu alotx.. i realli loved euu.. even if u wan to gif up on me le.. i will still wait ferr euu de.. no matter how long it take.. i will continue to wait..

he nv help me tag le.. sobx sobx ='(..

no 1 help me tag le..

haix..

anywaes..

it's getting kinda of late now..

gtg sleeping le..

gd nitex everyone..

ALL THE BEST FERR THE PU CAMP..

again..

kekex..

buaix~

kekex..

going to haf a fun dae at east coast later =)

having BBQ..

hehex..

hope it will be fun lorhx.. =)

anywaes..

tml whole scouts troupe except ferr some will be going PU camp le..

haix..

sobx sobx ='(

will miss dem de..

kekex =P

all the best to my meix , jiex , kor & di..

all the best to euu all =)

especially him..

cannot fall sick horx..

takkaires of urself..

though i m not by ur side le..

mux takkaires of urself kkaess?

mux promise me horx..

n mux also smile alwaes =)

kekex..

all the best to euu..

will miss u alotx alotx..

though we no longer stead..

i will still miss euu de.. =)

kekex..

still gt wat to post nehx?

dunno le worhx..

hmm..

let me think..

think nth much to post le bahx..

will be reaching home very very late todae..

hehex..

can't wait to go dere now..

will miss him alotx =)

though he no longer miss me..

i will still miss him every second de.. =)

i will still continue to wait ferr euu even if euu gif up on me le..

mux *jiayou* ferr ur exams kkaess?

all the best tml =)

buaix..

gtg liaox =)

same words..

ALL THE BEST TO EUU ALL =)

kekex..

do u think it's stupid to wait ferr a person who doesn't love euu?

i m 1 example here..

i think negatively..

his mood now very happy..

can c dat he has already forget abt me..

n..

when i call wee tiong to ask him to call me..

we seem to haf nth to talk le..

he used to talk alot..

but now..

we doesn't seem close le..

we haf drifted far far apart..

very very far..

haix..

should i gif up waiting ferr him?

i think..

dere's no hope ferr us to be together le..

realli..

he doesn't seem to like me anymore..

but..

i m the 1 who si chan lan da..

my ex has asked ferr a patch..

i dunno wat to reply..

haf already rejected him..

hmm..

who thinks i should gif up on him?

who thinks i should not?

but..

all i know now is..

he has already forget abt me..

though he sae he wun..

he will..

n..

haven even years..

jux onli a few daes..

he has forget everything..

perhaps even our happy moments together..

sobx sobx ='(

cried yesterday nite..

when i think of our happy moments..

i sure cry de..

dunno y..

i think..

he wun cry de bahx..

hmm..

haix..

dun care sho much on relationships le lorhx..

but..

i still will not get into relationships..

i will still continue to wait ferr him..

even if he dun wan me anymore..

i will still wait..

no 1 can change my mind..

no 1 can..

not even the ones closest to me..

not even him..

no 1 can change my mind..

haix..

stupid ritex me?

keep on waiting..

though cnt patch up..

still wait..

i m sho STUPID!

STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID de me!

i haf change alot alot alot ALOT le..

cnt change again..

if not..

i wun be the previous me le..

haix..

stop here le..

buaix..

kekex..

i m backx to post le worhx..

seems like everydae i gt post worhx..

kekex..

sch going to re open le..

i m sho happy..

but..

homework haben finish..

still gt quite alot..

sobx sobx ='(..

but..

i m already doing =)

finish history , geography & part of english..

dun plan to do the chinese compo..

at most kenna scolded..

cox i dun understand wat it means lorhx..

nuo yan is wat?

kekex..

tell teacher sae dunno..

cox alot of dem also dunno..

except 4 some guai kia..

sure do de..

kekex..

i belong to those..

ehx..

dunno how to sae..

LOL..

anywaes..

actually plan to go woodland de library de..

but horx..

lazy to go =x

den change venue to je library..

also lazy to go =x

i wan to sleep sleep =P

haix..

i m sho confused..

whether to patch up wif him..

i m still thinking..

ytd ask me kor to ask him..

i doubt he gt go ask..

si kor kor..

kekex..

i alwaes call him like dat de =P

hahax..

so sianx nehx..

actually todae need go sch 4 the checking of the scouts thingy 4 the PU camp de..

but..

since i m nt going..

so dun need go 4 the checking..

kekex..

cox i also wake up late marhx..

kekex..

sho sianx nehx..

gt wat thing to do nehx?

HOMEWORK!!

kekex..

do dat later bahx..

anywaes..

will be having a BBQ tml at east coast park dere..

not sure ehx..

actually..

is my uncle getting married..

wedding BBQ?

1st time heard of it..

kekex..

looking 4ward 4 it..

should be very fun..

but..

me naughty cousin also going..

die liaox lorhx..

he alwaes bully me de..

i older den him by 6 years..

he still bully me..

even my father also kenna..

kekex..

naughty ritex?

sho happy worhx..

my taggie box finally ok liaox le..

kekex..

any1 feel free help me to tag tag =PpP

hmm..

scouts going PU soon le..

sho sad cannot join em'..

will miss em' de..

especially him...

i will miss him alot alot de..

now already missing him..

anywaes..

will be living at the sea dere..

when i go malaysia..

last year go b4 le..

haf air con de worhx..

also watched MVP valentine at dere..

kekex..

going to charge my discman..

so can bring em'

need to pack my bag liaox worhx..

kekex..

dunno wat shirt to bring..

haf to think..

hmm..

wat to pack nehx?

going to bring alot of rubbish go dere..

go dere mux also buy sweets..

if not will vomit de worhx me..

i gt car sick de..

kekex..

hahax..

enough of my crappings le..

kekex..

haf to go n pack now..

buaix~

takkaires 4 those who going PU camp =)..

especially him..

mux takkaires worhx..

dun fall sick kkaess =)

ALL THE BEST TO EUU ALL ~

k larhx..

haf to stop liaox..

buaix~

STOP MENTIONING HER NAME IN FRONT OF ME!

the way u mentioned her name..

make me think of the past of me & him!

stop dat..

everytime i think of him..

i will cry..

STOP MENTIONING HER NAME!

STOP ALL!

i know u both very loving..

but..

can dun alwaes mention her name?

ming ming zhi dao i abit dun like her still mention her name..

chi bao mei shi zuo arhx?

go jump larhx..

go talk to her larhx..

next time wan answer dun take from me larhx..

all the things dat u do has IRRITATE me..

stop mentioning her name..

if not..

wo hui dui ni bu ke qi le..

hmph!

halox..

backx again to post..

kekex..

so sianx worhx..

haix..

wee tiong kor maybe cnt go camp ehx..

anywaes..

i also nt going..

lazy.. =x

kekex..

no larhx..

cox i going overseas marhx..

haf to miss the camp =(

hmm..

todae super sianx nehx..

also nv go out =(

kekex..

actually is dun wan go out..

not feeling well marhx..

headache + stomach pain..

sobx sobx =(

n..

guess wat m i doing now..

HOMEWORK..

kekekex..

so guai horx me..

hahax..

history somemore..

actually is help kor de larhx..

he left with history & chinese compo den can go..

so i help him lorhx..

but..

i dunno how to do ehx..

thinking very hard now..

till headache le..

hmm..

n..

i m also doing something..

i m missing him now..

missing him alot..

alot..

haix..

wonder when can we patch up?

actually..

i wan to ask him if wan to patch..

but..

he sure sae dun wan de..

cox he dun like me le..

n..

his father also dun allow..

better dun wan..

realli hope dat we can patch..

but..

i wonder..

sae break up de is me..

wan patch de also me..

haix..

very bad ritex me?

wan break also wan patch..

i wonder y m i alwaes the 1 who sae break & patch..

all things is all i do first den he do..

sobx ='(..

he cnt automatic de..

how i wish..

dat he can call me now..

but it's impossible de..

haix..

he also cnt SMS me le..

sobx ='(..

no 1 sae i love euu to me le..

no 1 muacksx me with love le..

no 1 care ferr me when i sick le..

sobx sobx ='(..

haix..

dun sae all dis le..

anywaes..

PU camp is on the 17th..

hope every1 can haf fun =)

all the best to euu all =)

especially Patrol D members..

kekex..

gd news..

i haf stop crying le..

but..

i jux can't forget him..

y ehx?

cox i love him too deeply..

even much more den i love myself..

haix haix..

but does he understand?

he wun de..

sobx sobx ='(

he wun understand how i feel de..

cox he himself has already forget me..

n..

his mood is happy happy de lorhx..

i think he has already get over dis matter le bahx..

his mood..

happy happy de..

hmm..

though i m happy to learn dat he is happy..

but..

i m sad..

i dunno y..

something is missing..

from my heart..

hope to find dat missing part soon..

but i dunno how..

who can help me?

anywaes..

i m going overseas le..

kekex..

2 daes onli..

hahax..

how i wish..

dat he can understand me more..

n be more auto..

but he wun de..

cox we haf already break..

=(..

sad sad de me..

sobx sobx de me.. ='(

all expected le..

haix..

when can i be the new me nehx?

i doubt i will be de..

dere is no 1 close to me..

sobx ='(

all my close fren dunno abt dis matter..

except ferr 1..

my very best fwen..

angella..

how much i miss her..

anywaes..

dun wish to talk abt it le..

my tagbox has gone crazy..

eeeeeeeeeee...

sobx sobx ='(

anywaes..

all the best to those who going to the PU camp =)

especially him..

all the best to euu =)

love u lotx..

though i cnt sae it to euu at MSN..

i can sae how much i wan here..

cox it's my blog..

personal..

his father also can't sae much..

cox dis is my own blog..

i wan to write wat..

i can..

no 1 cares..

no 1 cares ferr me anymore..

like the way he cares ferr me..

but i m not suitable ferr him..

for i m a BAD gal..

he is an angel..

i m a devil..

hmm..

kekex..

sad sad..

but still mux put a show ferr others to see..

dunnch wan em' to know dat i m sad..

currently hugging the pink bear bear dat Wei Haw kor gave me..

hehex..

thanks alotx..

also admiring the flowers dat he gave me..

love it alotx alotx..

feeling so sick now..

no 1 can hug me le..

he alwaes hug me tight tight de..

i enjoy the feeling..

but now..

i wun be able to experience it again..

but nvm..

i will still continue to wait ferr him de..

*jiayou* bahx me..

kekex..

gtg to do HOMEWORK le..

buaix buaix~

update tml again..

promise!!

kekex..

buaix buaix~

muackxxss.. love him lotx..

halox..

jux cum backx from westmall..

keke..

went je library..

keke..

didn't study much..

actually..

is nv study at all..

go dere write a few words on history book..

hahax..

den left le..

go entertainment centre 4 awhile..

den..

went to IMM lorhx..

go giant..

finding something..

den go daiso..

still cnt find..

sobx ='(..

went westmall with poh khee after dat..

she was looking 4 the slamdunk comic book..

find it a a shop beside the POPULAR..

i saw my favourite author's books..

keke..

going to ask my father go buy..

Jean Ure & Beverly Cleary..

i love their books..

going to go buy..

jux love reading..

den went yellow..

bought a keychain..

dice de..

quite big.. soft soft de..

n it was SHO CUTE..

pink colour somemore..

keke..

poh khee also bought 1..

hers was light blue..

mine light pink..

gt words on each side of the surface..

the words are..

hug me , love me , need me , kiss me , hold me & miss me

keke..

it was cute though..

LOL..

den went home after dat..

took 177 home..

now..

at here blogging..

having a bad stomach ache + headache..

my head realli hurts..

sobx ='(

going to sleep now..

go rest rest..

buaix..

blog tml..

halox..

backx to post le worhx..

keke..

anywaes..

todae is moi mei mei de burfdae..

happy burfdae sook yee~~

wrote euu a testimonial le..

go accept it bahx..

touched?

keke..

anyway..

had a fun dae todae..

hahax..

spent the whole dae eating..

keke..

i becum pig le worhx..

no 1 wans me le worhx ='(..

hahax..

anyway..

went orchard todae..

with moi maid, sis & bro

sho fun..

now sho tired..

take 171 from my house here go..

the journey very boring..

in bus sit too long le..

feel like vommiting..

hahax..

reach dere..

den go C K tang..

go buy food eat..

japanese de..

yum yum!

LOL..

den go lucky plaza..

at dere sit sit..

went watsons buy smth..

den after dat..

go far east plaza..

bought hairclips..

n..

ear back..

LOL..

den went popular..

it was sho big..

dere also gt aries..

bought 2 rubber bands..

keke..

den go popular..

bought 2 pens..

n..

correction pens..

keke..

saw a big big de dog..

sho cute..

i go hug hug it =x

hahax..

den left le..

went takashimaya..

look around lorhx..

den bought smth to eat..

hahahax..

alwaes eat de worhx..

spent quite alot on food..

keke..

den..

went wisma atria?

go see see..

den go erm..

forget liaox =x

hahax..

anywaes..

haf a fun dae todae..

still miss him alot..

keke..

hope he also bahx..

anywaes..

hope we can patch up sooon =)

i will wait de..

keke..

buaix~

haix..

i miss him.. i realli do..

sobx ='(..

well..

gd news..

i haf stop crying le..

haix..

wonder how he is doing now..

miss him alot..

it has been 4 daes since we break le..

i cried 4 three daes..

sobx ='(..

wonder will he wait 4 me..

but..

most probaly..

he wun wait de..

haix..

wat's done cannot be undone le..

no point crying over spilled milk..

like wat zeng jun sae..

buy new milk..

means..

go find a new stead..

but..

i dun wan..

i will still wait 4 him..

be his guardian angel..

haf to concentrate on my studies le..

already start to study & do homework yesterdae..

m going to study harder..

*jiayou* bahx me..

anyway..

happy advanced birthday sook yee..

best wishes to u..

=)..

haix..

all i can do is haix..

wat thing to do?

no mood to do homework..

haix..

again..

well..

no 1 pei wo chat on fonee le..

kor go malaysia..

mon den cum back..

sobx ='(..

quick cum backx..

hmm..

nth much to post le..

maybe post at nite..

buaix..

haix..

back to post again lorhx..

nth to do marhx..

haix..

cried 5 times yesterday..

thrice in the morning..

twice in the nite..

haix..

do u think i should stop crying?

somehow..

i think i haf change le..

from the cheerful gal..

becum a cry baby..

alwaes cry cry cry over a small small matter..

haix..

well..

hope i wun cry todae again..

but..

whenever i think of our happy times together..

tears jux flow down..

i dunno y..

haix..

is god playing tricks on us?

we were going on fine..

but..

dis happen..

haix..

i m not getting into relationships anymore..

but i will still wait 4 u..

i will alwaes be ur guardian angel..

i vow..

sobx ='(..

can any1 cheer me up..

anyway..

wan to thanks a few person..

heidi jie , huiwen mei , xin yi jie , zhi qi mei , wee tiong kor..

especially huiwen , xin yi & wee tiong..

thannkew all of u..

4 being dere when i m down..

wee tiong kor especially.. talking with me on the phone from 12 smth to 5 smth..

thannkew very much..

though i m still happy..

i m glad dat dere r still pple who care 4 me..

n also poh khee mei , pei yi jie , jesslyn , fen mien..

dey also gif me advices..

fen mien still call me n ask me cheer up..

haix..

sorry if i forget to put ur name..

but..

jux would like to thanks every1 4 deir help..

zeng jun also..

hmm..

well..

going to get prepare now..

haf to go shower..

den go meet jesslyn & poh khee go JE library..

i m going to stress myself..

buaix..

haix..

currently doing homework.. nth to do marhx..

haf to stress up myself..

the 15/38 class position.. i wan myself to be..

5/38.. though i know it's impossible..

haix..

should i stop crying? or should i not?

i cannot control dem lehx.. dey alwaes flow.. like broken tap..

haix..

though i m touched by wat u sae.. do u think i haf the choice?

haix..

should i forget him?

i m beginning to starve myself le.. haix.. jux no mood to eat..

haf tonnes of homework.. piled up 4 me to do..

doing now.. english hw..

anyway.. i m going to JE library tml(again)..

hehex..

going to read more abt relationships.. n more..

dunno y i m interested in dem lorhx.. jux interested..

well..

still going 4 the hunt 4 the catherine lim's short stories..

cannot seem to find dem.. i borrow 3 of dem.. but..

dey turned out to be long stories.. alot of chapters..

hahax.. went JE library.. dun haf.. go do research on internet.. also dun haf..

hmm..

the project is still not done yet.. when can it be done?

haf to complete it soon.. cox i m going to go overseas..

YAY! 3 cheers 4 me.. hahax..

going to skip the PU camp.. though i know dey will be having fun..

haf to pang seh sook yee again.. sorry horx..

anyway..

nth to post le..

but..

i still can't understand 1 thing..

why does god alwaes play a trick on humans?

who can answer it ehx?

gtg to complete my homework le..

buaixxx~~

haix..

dis few daes mood not gd.. sobx ='(..

sui ran i love u alot.. but.. i m left with no choice..

u wan forget me .. wan do anything.. i dun care le.. do wat u wan bahx..

but.. jux to let u know.. u will alwaes be the person dat i love most.. never change..

though u r my 4th stead.. u r also the 1 i love the most.. the most i realli love..

i m crying.. y m i crying again.. i should be strong.. cannot because of a relationship.. i becum like dat..

who can help me?

I VOW NOT TO HAF ANY MORE RELATIONSHIPS !

y r dey so hurting.. i dun wan dem anymore.. i dun wan ..

sobx ='( .. i m realli sorry 4 breaking ur heart..

haix.. u wan forget me le.. u dun wan me le.. u dun wan wait 4 me le.. sobx ='( ..

though i alwaes ask u to dun wait 4 me.. dun miss me.. n forget me.. n forget all the times we haf.. actually .. i dun wan dem to happen .. but.. u treat it seriously .. n forget me.. well.. i've nth to sae.. jux wish dat u can haf a happy life..

i m so useless.. haix.. SHI BAI..

how i wish.. i dun exist.. i could jump down..

haix.. i m realli HURT.. realli..

i m going to stress myself.. stress till cannot stress.. i m NOT going to care anymore le..

STUDY ! STUDY !

haix..

sui ran alot of pple sae haf miracle.. i dun believe dem..

does love realli last 4eva?

well.. i m going to play.. like siaox.. i m not going to get into relationships.. NO MORE !

so sorry if i scolded u.. i m realli in a foul mood..

though u c me alwaes laughing.. my heart is crying.. but u all cannot c.. sobx ='(

last word..

i realli love u.. though we cannot be together.. i realli love u.. jux to let u know dat.. even if u dun wan to wait 4 me.. i will alwaes be ur guardian angel.. alwaes by ur side.. cox i realli love u.. realli.. i will continue to wait 4 u .. n not getting into relationships.. i will wait.. even when u gt married.. i will still wait.. till the dae dat we can patch up.. dat will be the dae when i will be my ownself.. the most happiest dae.. u will nv be replaced in moi heart.. never eva.. wo zhen de ai ni..zhen de..

dun wish to sae anymore.. i m already crying.. i m going to be the NEW me.. the gal who will change her character.. from the cheerful gal to a lonely, sad gal..

wo bu zai hui tian chang di jiu.. zhi zai hu zeng jing yong you..

realli love u alotx... haix...