sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .
i had a nightmare yesterday .

i dreamt that wk and wt were together ,
although they claimed that they were not .
then my mother even invited them to our house to overnight .

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !
i`ve already had many sleepless night .
why am i still having dreams like this ?
can i just stop thinking about all this stupid stuffs ?

mock exams is nearing .
around a week more .
don`t feel like going school in the morning .
it will definitely drain us out .
sigh .

have been skipping school frequently now ,
visiting the library each time i skipped school .
its pretty useful ,
as the library is rather quiet , (if there's no selfish people talking)
& i went there alone :D

still not well-prepared for O's ,
wellllllllll ~

i`ve no right to decide who you can be with .
as long as you`re happy ,
so be it .
as if . =\

today is 23rd sep .
well ,
a month ago (23rd aug) ,
we broke up .

all those messages sent ,
those hurtful words ,
all of them are still vividly in my mind .

well ,
this break-up seem to be just recently only .
haha .

times passed much faster than i expected (:
anyway ,
i managed to survive eh !

at times ,
i felt that i`ve given up already .
because i no longer see him secretly ,
all those stuffs that i once do when we were together ,
i`ve seem to stop doing them le .
(:

but this is a fact that i cant change .
i still like him .

no matter how much i want to run away ,
how much i want to avoid .
he is still in my heart .

upon reading xinyi's blog ,
i strongly agreed with what she posted .

quoted from xinyi's blog :

"True love is all about loving someone just because they are themselves
and not their actions and values.
True love never asks for any amendment of your traits but accepts you
as you are along with your positive and negative attributes.
Being in true love is such a divine feeling where you will unsurprisingly
lay down your own comfort for the safety and happiness of your love.
True love doesn't yearn for reciprocation from your love.
It is a strength in itself that gives you selfless valor even at the
weakest end of your life.
True love is also termed as unconditional love which is a strong bond
between lovers or spouses which is claimed to be at a much higher
point than bodily desires."

this paragraph is really meaningful .
i`ve tried to accept your flaws ,
but did you tried ?

anyway ,
prelim results are out already .
i attained 3As (1A1, 2A2) , 1B (B3) , 2Cs (1C5 , 1C6) and 1F.

ms lee said my 49 for english will be pushed up to 5o .
hope so .
so that i will get a C6 for english instead of a D7 .

English :
Paper 1 : 31/6o
Paper 2 : 22.5/5o
Oral : 21/4o
Overall : 49/1oo (D7)

Maths :
Paper 1 : 61/8o
Paper 2 : 63/1oo
Overall : 7o/1oo (A2)

Science : (scroll down for results)
Overall : 57.5 (C5)

F&N : (cannot disclose coursework marks)
Theory : 74/1oo
Overall (including coursework) : 74/1oo (A2)

Humans : (scroll down for results)
Overall : 28/1oo (F9)

POA :
Paper 1 : 32/4o
Paper 2 : 47/6o
Overall : 79/1oo (A1)

B3 is for 'O' level chinese .
if my english is C6 ,
my L1R4 = 16 .
improved by 3 points .

as stated from my previous post ,
i`ve met 5 out of the 6 targets set (:
some of them are better than expected ,
some just met .
only humans didn`t make it .

well ,
i`ve not put in much efforts i guessed .
T_T

shall end here ,
i need to study .
bye .

i still hope that you will return back to my side .

back to update ! (:

about 2 more weeks or so to mock exams .
i must really work hard this time !
last round of exams before O's .
shall take it seriously .

prelims results is discouraging and disheartening !
T_T
however ,
it reflects to me that i should put in double effort in order to attain desired results .

E Maths :
Paper 1 (61/8o)
Paper 2 (62/1oo)
Overall : 69/1oo (B3)

Combined Science :
Phy Practical (11/15)
Phy MCQ (9/2o)
Phy Paper 2 (29.5/65)
Overall for Phy : 49.5/1oo (D7)

Chem Practical (9/15)
Chem MCQ (11/2o)
Chem Paper 3 (45.5/65)
Overall for Chem : 65.5/1oo (B3)

Overall : 57.5/1oo (C5)

Combined Humans :
Geography (11/5o)
SS (17/5o)
Overall : 28/1oo (F9)

LOL !
my humans result is sooooooo nice !
cannot blame ,
i didn`t do 1 SS essay and 1 whole geography question which comprises of 25m .
:D

was pretty sad for science results .
my physics really pulled me down a lot .
i really should practice more physics questions .
also ,
i`m weak @ MCQ .

nothing much to say for e maths ,
i`ve only put in 75% of effort only .
left the 2 and a half questions blank in paper 2 , which comprises of like 19m .
felt pretty sad for paper 1 ,
as i lost a lot of marks to careless mistakes .

like what my tuition teacher say ,
i seriously lack of practice .
i have the impression of the question ,
but doubt-ness killed me !
i kept on doubting if the answer/steps is correct or wrong .
i may have put in the correct answer/steps ,
but because of uncertainty ,
i changed it and got it all wrong !

WANNING JIAYOU !

WORK HARD !
WORK HARD !
加油 everybody !

especially you (:

我到底该做什么才能放手 ?
我已经受不了了 !
我可以以笑容来迎接新的一天 ,
可是内心却和为表不一样 .
在里 ,
我的心一阵阵的在痛 .

也许我们根本都不配 .
说真的 ,
我越来越讨厌你 !

还有你 !
为什么要一次又一次的说谎 ?
我觉得你非常恶心 ，
卑鄙无耻下流 !

在这世界上 ,
有人可以让我信赖吗 ?

will be sitting for the last prelim paper on monday !
no school on tuesday .
(:

well ,
i doubt i will fare well for this time prelim .
not much effort put in .
yesterday physics paper was of a below moderate standard .
that only applies for me :X

surprisingly ,
i can attempt all those electricity questions !
no questions asked on light .
& no questions asked on work energy power !
my favourite topic .
):

targets for sa2 :

EL ~> C6
Maths ~> B3
Science ~> C5
POA ~> A2
Humans ~> E8 :X
F&N ~> B3

haha .
no f9 for humans can already :D
& i hope i can pass my english .
5o also can !

sigh ,
what made you become like that ?
you`re making me to dislike you more and more .
=\

I
I MUST
I MUST LEARN
I MUST LEARN TO
I MUST LEARN TO LOVE
I MUST LEARN TO LOVE PHYSICS
I MUST LEARN TO LOVE
I MUST LEARN TO
I MUST LEARN
I MUST
I

AHHHHHH !
physics is so damn sucky can .
no theory concept seem to be getting into my mind .
i can only remember all those formulas but i don`t know how to apply .
T_T

I = CURRENT .
Q = CHARGE .

i always mixed them up .
how stupid can i be ?
):

SIGHHHHH .
i left my damn f&n file in school .
AHHHHH .
fail le lah !

maths paper today was of a moderate standard .
but i left the whole of radian measure question blank because i simply do not know how to do .
totalled up all my marks ,
and the possible grade that i might get is probably b3 - a2 .
not more than that .
sigh .

i`ve got no mood to study for physics .
probably because i do not have any interest in it .
but as mention above ,
I MUST LEARN TO LOVE PHYSICS !

4 more papers to go ,
good luck all (:

i saw 11:11 twice yesterday ,
does it imply that you miss me ?
(:

prelims have started already .
i`m preparing to say hello to f9 for my humans .
T_T
skipped 1 geography question and 1 ss essay .
HAHA .

have decided not to drop humans but to work doubly hard for O levels after prelims .
haha .
god seems to be playing a fool ,
by putting us together in the same room .
i feel pressurized and stress !

will be sitting for my most confident paper tomorrow ,
chemistry .
pray hard that i will perform up to standard this time .

sigh .
i still can`t let go uh !
):

bye !

you`re someone so scary .
someone that i once knew ,
someone that has words that needs to be evaluate using ss skills .
to infer , its reliability and its purpose .
sigh .

hmm .
about 1o days since i last posted uh .
pretty lazy ,
& moreover ,
prelims is just next week .
T_T

i bet that i`ll fail my english badly .
):
out of the 5 vocab words ,
i already got 4 crosses .
except for 1 ,
which i can`t find it in the dictionary .

caught hana yori dango finals today again @ je .
have watched that movie twice already .
its niceeeeeee !

we`ve broke up for 12 days already .
life's still pretty ok .
at least i`ve stop crying ,
& have also focused more on studies .

i know where's my priority ,
shall throw everything behind first !
i shall only care about those stuffs after o's .
(:

anyway ,
seeing him and his messages occasionally make me feel contented already .
he must be feeling happier without me by his side ba .
AHHHHHHH .
shall not care about all this first :D

patch , is there a possibility ?
i hope so =\
愛してる !
my love ..